she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
