we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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