hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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