Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
