she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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