Your tits are I can't wait for
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
