those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
