i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
