Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
