The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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