can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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