And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
