after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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