Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
