Im at strip club and am horny
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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