whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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