Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
