We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
