he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
