Where are you?
In a non slutty way
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
