sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
