Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's official drugs can't kill me
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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