on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
