I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
