i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
