What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
