She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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