hotel room ftw
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
