After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
