oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
