I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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