Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
