Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The adults are the big ones right?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
