I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
