so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
