The maid of honor just puked.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
