Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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