I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
