Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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