so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I can't turn off my feet"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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