I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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