He had one of those small greek statue penises
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
