RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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