There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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