we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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