Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
