He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
