I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
