as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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