He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
