people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
